first entry.

it's april 4, and i have less than a month until i am done with my college career. by may 1st,i will be done with all those papers, exams, quizzes, bullshit. then, on the 18th i graduate, confirming that i have now passed on to the adult world of legitimacy. well, sorta. i 'm probably going to still be working at Barnes and Noble, tearing out my hair, be in credit card debt, drinking a lot, smoking when i said I would quit, and dancing like a silly girl. Oh, well.

I'm ready to be done with this college deal, having taken the five year plan (four years at Rutgers and one at Johnson and Wales U in RI) the reading, writing, late nights, little sleep, college experience is long over due to be over. I got to catch up with the rest of my friends who are enjoying/despising grown-up life, those who I graduated high school with that is. Despite all the excitement that comes with graduation (aside from no more homework, I get to read for fun-woot!), I find myself wanting to throw up, just a little, when I realize my plans for the future are uncertain and flexible, and that I will be removing myself from the structure I'd known for the past five years. Though the reading and papers suck, it was something I scheduled for myself to do on so and so nite, and provided clear goals for me to reach. My friends won't be as accessible either; I will miss going downstairs and seeing Emily, Beth, or Susie in the living room, watching tv and sitting down to talk to them, or calling up any of my other friends to meet up a Qdoba, Thai Palace, or the student center.

Plus, I'm moving back with my parents, and though they are cool, I can't be having loud sex in their house (or any sex at all. well not that they will know of. hee) and my brother will probably end up eating all the junk food that is not peanut/peanut-butter ridden that I bring into the house. AND,my room back home is significantly smaller than my illegal attic abode here off campus. As if that was ever possible.

If/When I find a new job, I will be also leaving a place where I've been so comfortable. I've worked at the Princeton B&N for the past (almost) four years. There I've met Gary, the love of my life, three of my best girlfriends (Emily, Meghan, Lynn plus me make up Voltron), a good amount of other friends and friendly faces, fun, obnoxious memories, and easy access to books, knowledge, irate customer stories, and 1/2 price white chocolate mochas.
Yes, I need to get out of the retail field, but I'm scared that i won't be able to find a job I like, or want (ahem, library assistant jobs=gimme) or realize I don't want to go get my master's in library science or that I won't be as good at whatever job I get next. What's a history/poli sci major who doesn't want to teach to do??

So yeah. I'm at a crossroads at my life, and yes, i will admit, I want to poop myself. But, instead of sitting around soiling myself (sorry for the gross analogy. pooping is great, though),i will try to be as proactive as possible. I decided to start this new blog to document this part of my life,Its also here to promote my craft business that I will be starting this summer, plus general crafty banter and perhaps some angry/spiteful cattiness on the side. Enjoy.