ratti pillo loves you always.

I can't believe how fast time flies. On the end of a very important anniversary, that of 9/11, I am in a sense getting a bit sentimental. I feel like it happened ages ago, just because I feel like I've change sooooooo much since then. Five years ago, I was away from home for the first time, in Providence, RI going into my freshman year at Johnson and Wales. I remember everything about that day; how I thought the girl who came into my class was an idiot because she said a place crashed into the Twin Towers (yeeeaaah okay), the initial shock that I felt when I found out it was true, running back to my dorm to watch the news, not being able to get in touch with my family, wondering if my cousins and my aunt visiting from Seattle were in one of the planes or at the airport or even in the city with my mom that day, and most of all, with all the martial law that was declared, the shut down of all public transportation the thought that I would never be able to go home. You might say that I was overreacting, but seeing as it was my first time away from home, it wasn't certain that I was going to be able to go back to what I was familiar and comfortable with.

Also, I guess the fact that the WTC got hit really struck a chord in me that day. I had grown up in New York practically. It was a part of my childhood, from when we were still living in Queens and my mom would bring me into Manhattan, to the numerous times we had out-of-town family and friends come visit and the required visit to the WTC observation deck. I remember being so scared of heights when I was younger, I wouldn't even press my face up against the glass on the top floor, or even go on the extended landing that let you sit right up against it. By the time I was 10 I knew to take the Newark subway system to Penn Station, and then take the Path to WTC, showing off my navigational skills to one of my aunts who was living with us after an outing to downtown Newark. In high school, the Twin Towers could be seen from Eagle Rock Mountain, where we went to cruise, hang out, make out, and frolick. I remember returning there December of that year and seeing all the memorials left up there, before it became an official memorial. I remembered thinking the skyline looked so empty.

Looking back at that time, I was so young, naive, and just ready to start my life. I look at all the things that has happened to me since then, that's molded me into the adult I am now. When I think about it, I have to laugh about the way I acted, the idiotic (yet funny) things I did, the clothes I wore, and what I thought was cool back then, back in the day! When I think about my brother starting college, it's still weird to think that who I was just five years ago is now somewhat constituted as 'back in the day' (even though it's not but still. haha). I've been really nostalgic ever since graduating college, and I guess it's just natural to think about things like this today. I remember being so ready for life back then, and now...I am, but it's totally different. You're in it for the long haul! It's for real now...and in a sense I guess I do think about the mistakes I have made in the past, and how different my life could have turned out if I did a little better in high school, maybe went to a different school, etc etc. But, I guess dwelling on it is just as bad as regretting all those decisions I made in life. i don't like to live with regret; everything is a lesson, or at least a good story to tell someone.


Meanwhile, I filled out a profile on match.com for shits and giggles, and I find myself checking out my matches and possibly subscribing -you can only check emails if yr a subscribed member. I'm at 8 right now, and maybe if it get up to 15, I'll check it out for a month. I found a couple of hotties who I added to my 'favorites' and that I'm 'compatitble' with. Interesting....