ratti pillo loves you always.

so I haven't updated this piece in while. sigh. Well, I have a new laptop (a perty macbook, glossy, white, beeyootiful!) so I guess I have no excuse now! I want to say that not much has been going on: i had that second job, quit it after two weeks after being so exhausted in the beginning of the week and feeling like I had no time for myself. I'm still at b&n, half hating it, half loving it, yet not being able to really pay bills, save money, do important stuff like that. Oh, well.

On that note, I've been having an overwhelming feeling of fleeing. I need to get out of here: Princeton, NJ, b&n, etc. I spent the last weekend in baltimore-northern virginia and realized that I Loved it. It's enough city for me: bmore, dc but not so overwhelming like New York. It's clean, people seem to be nice, and even though there is suburban sprawl, it's a different kind of sprawl that you find here in central jersey. Northern Jersey is also attractive, but way too expensive. I feel that I can find a job down in DC/B-more with my major, and perhaps go to grad school there. I feel that whatever I'm looking for in my life is not here; I love NJ but I've become too comfortable here I think...It's time to move on and out. So, my gameplan for the next couple of months is studying for the GREs, sending my resume all over the place and becoming wiser about my money. Wish me luck.

Of course, I would miss nj a lot. My family, my friends, my co-workers, and just living here. But, if I do relocate somewhere else I do have a couple of friends there, aaaand it's not that far to drive up 95 to see familiar faces. I'm looking around my room, which is still in a state of 'in-between' because we're building a bookcase and all my stuff is still all over the house, I am yearning for some order, my own space, and um all that stuff. I know there's a lot of work/money/growing up involved, so again I hope this whole feeling is a giant motivator for me to do something with myself.

The summer is coming to an end, and I can't wait. I tire of the weather (even though it's pretty moody out) and ready for long sleeves, cider, and the crunch of leaves under my feet. But, this summer has been amazing and fun. It started off really bumpy, uncertain, and scary. Even over the span of these past months, I feel that I've changed for the better....it's a startling revelation. I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I think I'll be okay. I was so worried about falling into a routine, but I was following a routine anyway when I was back in school- only there were lots of spontaneous actions that made it a little bit more exciting. But, I've come to realize that that special spontaneity can happen- I just have to put myself out there, enjoy the moment, and make it happen. I'm sure that sounded really corny, but whatever.

My summer was pretty amazing: lots of trips, the boys, the dancing, the friends, the good times, my trip to the Philippines, new york, baltimore, etc etc. It was awesome and fun, and I'm looking foward to more fun...and hard work and all that junk. It should be interesting.