ratti pillo loves you always.

Displacement is so, like NOT COOL! omg.

(this is red because I was ANGRY!)

I live illegally in in the attic of my apartment. It's finished and everything, and besides the whole no heat detraction, the place is pretty nice. It's bigger than my room at my parents, where I will have to move back to, I have two closets, crawlspace galore, wicked dark wood paneled walls, an awesome carpet that is brown with orange dots (very mod), and seclusion when needed. All my craft supplies fit there, along with my extensive wardrobe, cd and dvd collection, and general crap. I love it.

However, I am temporarily-for the day- displaced, as I had to pack up my life basically for the day because the fire inspector is coming. When I found out about this, I wanted to punch out my landlord. There is no such thing as a legit landlord in New Brunswick, its pretty sad. I think it's sadder, bc there are a lot of 'regular' non-students that live in New Brunswick, and if they are renting from one of these slumlords, it's not for the timespan of a couple of years or months, but perhaps an entire lifetime or so. I wonder how they put up with the shitty housing situation. I'm sure there's some sort of oasis in New Brunswick where doors remain on hinges and there aren't holes in the floor or walls.

I packed up everything in shopping bags and small boxes and left them there for his 'movers' to move. I feel sorry for these guys. Susie (my mate in the attic, in the next room) made everything heavy on purpose. I kind of got really mad at her for a half second. Eugene (the landlord) wasn't going to be the one moving the stuff, but it's whoever he hired. I wanted to tell her to make them not so heavy; I'm sure those guys don't want to be there. Granted, we can argue, well they're getting paid, but I don't think making bags and boxes heavy out of spite is really something they need. They're two guys who look pretty strong/handy. Eugene is also having them fix shit around the apt. Finally. Our bathroom door has been rotting off the hinges since winterbreak. It's April. AWESOME.

I put all my underwear in one bag and put it in my car, because I didn't want the mover guys to see it. Susie and I also placed other belongings all over the house; in Emily's office, Beth and Erica's room. I was able to pack up everything in several hours, but in a sloppy fashion; I'm cringing as I think of all my clothes wrinkling into cotton-blend messes. I hate ironing.

But looking at my room all empty, with my mattress on the floor surrounded by shopping bags and boxes made me sad. They're moving in our stuff later on today in the afternoon, immediately after the fire inspector comes. Plus, if the F.I. says there are people living in the attic, Eugene assured me that he has 60 days to fight it or something, but by that time we'll be out of the house and he'll just get it inspected before the new tenants move in. Awesome for them.

I guess the sadness came out of several factors...the fact that I'll have to use up another half a day to unpack all my stuff and the question of 'is it worth it?' because I'll be moving out in about a month and a 1/2 anyway. Also, the idea of maybe not bringing out my pictures, putting my craft supplies away, and leaving the books in a bag. I don't like the idea of being 'in-between'. When I lived at my parents house over the summer, half of my stuff was in New Brunswick, the other half in Princeton, in boxex because I was too lazy. That summer sort of sucked, I didn't really do anything. It's not that I'm so attached to my things, I mean I like them, that's why I have them...some are sentimental, others essential, and the rest functional. For example, my crafty stuff: even though I will be too busy with school for the rest of april, I can enjoy them in May, and just looking at them keeps me inspired and creative...like within those plastic boxes there is potential for some cute shit to be made.

I think most importantly, feeling displaced makes me lonely. I don't like the idea of no pictures or anything around that describes me or reminds me of other people. Even something like a movie reminds me of other people, and if I'm alone in the apartment, it's nice to have some other noise going on besides my own breath.

Well, I guess I know what tonight's plans are. I found 7 lighters and 4 tubes of chap stick. The latter would come in pretty handy right now, as I feel gross when my lips are chapped, but of course, I didn't bring any. Figures.